MESSY PREGNANCY 

Why Messy Pregnancy?

Robin's Story

In 2021, Robin was thrilled to finally be pregnant. Planned and deeply desired, this pregnancy was everything Robin wanted. Unfortunately, at the 20 week ultrasound, she learned that the baby had an omphalocele, a physical developmental issue where the abdominal wall doesn't for improperly and causes internal organs to be located outside the body. After consulting specialists and doing research, she and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy. 21 weeks and 3 days.

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Fortunately, they lived in California, so the procedure was legal and the process fairly easy to manage, which allowed Robin to focus on her physical and mental recovery. She went into surgery for a "second trimester termination of pregnancy," a D&C.

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The physical recovery took longer than desired, and the challenge of trying to conceive again while grieving the loss pushed Robin into a dark mental health spiral. She began therapy, started on Zoloft, and openly shared her story so that her community could rally around and support her.

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One year later, she conceived her rainbow baby. The same timeline as the loss pregnancy, one year later, due dates 3 days apart. Navigating the early pregnancy struggles was extra challenging after losing the naïveté and holding the knowledge that pregnancy doesn't always end in a healthy baby. It was a long pregnancy, but thankfully with a healthy 20 week anatomy scan and a safe delivery of a healthy baby.

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Then there was parenting after loss. The celebration of a healthy rainbow baby while still grieving the loss of what could have been. The excitement of a son, when there could have been a daughter. 

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This is life. It's messy. It's complicated, it's nuanced. Robin is here sharing her story to help support others who may be experiencing similar challenges. She hopes this website can be a resource for the people in the middle of the loss journey as well as those in their near circle, supporting them.